4-EYED DRAFT STRATEGY: Your Fantasy Football Draft Personality Traits
Hello, #4EYEDFans!
If you are a long-time visitor to Fantasy In Frames, you have come to expect the best in statistical breakdowns of your favorite fantasy football players. You have come here for fantasy football knowledge, strategy and advice. Well in this article I am not going to discuss any of that, in fact I am not going quote one stat related to fantasy football. Now before you click off and get back into the hard-core world of fantasy football, I invite you to enjoy a lighter more in-depth look, not at the professional athletes that are so important to fantasy football success; no today I am going to talk about the people who manage fantasy football team. More specifically, I am going to give you a psychological breakdown of many of the people that you will come across while you are in the midst of your draft. In full disclosure, I am not a licensed or trained psychoanalyst, my experience consists of a documented minor in Psychology from the University of Maryland and years of experience watching, listening and studying people before and during these drafts. This analysis will run through the six different personality traits that you will experience. And just remember, while you may not think it, you, my wonderful and loyal readers will most likely also fit into at least one of and perhaps a few of these personalities.
Loyalist
You paint your face, you wear your jersey, you may or may not come to the draft wearing your team’s helmet and you know every word to your teams fight song, and you sing it, you hum it, you are generally obnoxious about it. When it comes to picking your fantasy football team, you have an even stranger obsession with picking a lot of guys from your team and put ridiculously high values on them, even the ones that are legitimate draft picks. Yes, Redskins fan, we know that Chris Thompson can be a pretty good player when he is not hurt and has had some pretty good games to back that up, but after six years in the NFL, having played the full 16 games in only one of them, he is not worth a high pick, particularly when your master strategy is to pair him with Dwayne Haskins and Jordan Reed to give you the main offensive players in what you foolishly think is going to be this new resurgent offense. Your ability to pick sleepers or find the real diamonds in the later round is clouded by your irrational love for your team and possible ingestion of face paint chips.
Amused by the Loyalist: Average Fantasy Player, Obsessor
Annoyed by the Loyalist: Slot filler, Panicker
Panicker
This is your friend who you will see constantly rifling through their notes, they know who they want to pick, but they always seem to just miss out on the player they want; the phrase “You A—h— I was just about to take that guy!!” is a phrase that is uttered by this person a lot. The only time this person will draft a position way higher than they should is because they misjudge when the run on that position will start. They have a strategy going in but like Mike Tyson once said, “everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth” and once that happens the Panicker’s plans go out the window and they start to make one strange move after another to compensate. At the end of a draft the Panicker has over drafted at one position, probably forgets to draft their first player at another position until the last round, and has eaten most of the chips that are out and has flop sweated through 2 shirts.
Amused by the Panicker: Aggressor, Loyalist, Slot Filler
Annoyed by the Panicker: Obsessor, Loyalist
Obsessor
You get emails or text messages from this person regarding setting your next fantasy draft within 24 hours of the Super Bowl ending, they have been doing mock drafts since before the actual NFL draft, they are in high double-digit amounts of leagues and know every scoring structure there is to know. They want to have a draft party that has themes, they want to make the fantasy draft a national holiday and their obsession makes even the face painting loyalist uncomfortable. They come into the draft with a 3-inch binder with historical information about each player and enough analytical data to excite a NASA rocket scientist. The show “The League” is not just a quirky and funny (except for the crappy last season) TV show, but basically their way of life. They pay obscene amounts of money on analytics-based fantasy websites and listen to every fantasy football related podcast on the planet (including The Fantasy In Frames Podcast, the best one of course!!) just because they think it will give them that much of an edge on everyone else at draft time. They have fantasy football related tattoos, they are constantly talking to friends, family and co-workers about the glory of winning the Championship as if it was the same as scoring 4 TD’s for Polk High in the Chicago State Championship (If you don’t know that reference, I weep for your future!!). The Obsessed fan cannot comprehend why others don’t know what Lamar Miller averaged in Best Ball ½ PPR leagues in 2017, and they have a signed picture of Matthew Berry on their desk where the picture of their significant other is supposed to be. They are generally good hearted, but their obsession is really starting to get worry some.
Amused by the Obsessor: Loyalist, Aggressor
Annoyed by the Obsessor: Pretty much everyone else
Aggressor
Being competitive amongst your friends can often be fun; competition often times brings out the best in people. Even the occasional trash talk can increase the enjoyment of the activity that you are competing in, and then there is the Aggressor. You never can quite get a handle on whether they don’t know how to be competitive in a friendly way, they are having their own fun at others expense, or they are just mean and no one quite understands why they keep getting invited back. This person will come to the draft with a distinct attitude, they have no ability to go more than 3 words without a curse word coming out without the slightest recognition that some of the other people at the party thought it would be great to bring their kids with them, they yell at other players for such things as making what they perceive as a terrible pick, taking too long to make their pick, starting a run they were not ready for, getting beaten out for a player that they wanted. They are the loudest, they are the biggest trash talker and they always have a massively high opinion of their own drafting abilities. They usually come by themselves and they are often the first one to leave after the draft. The Aggressor does not know as much as the Obsessor or even the Panicker, they do however know enough that will often times keep them in contention throughout the season with some form of trash talking occurring all the time.
Amused by the Aggressor: Obsessor, Possibly the Loyalist, Sometimes the League Commissioner
Annoyed by the Aggressor: Pretty much everyone else, and the odds are, they are going to get into a fight at some point with the Slot Filler.
Slot Filler
While this is going to sound sexist, this person is usually a woman, and it is usually either another players wife/girlfriend or friend or a roommate. Either way, the only reason this person is in the league is because one person left for any number of reasons, and this person volunteered (begrudgingly) at the last minute because the person that brought them in either told them how much fun they will have or because they were the only person that actually said they would do it. The Slot Filler does little to no research on fantasy football, they pick players based off simplistic reason such as they know who the player is married to, they saw them on some reality show at some point or they think the city that they play in is “really fun”. The Slot Filler can either be nice or they walk in with a superior attitude and often mock those who are taking this more seriously. The Slot Filler will constantly be picking people that have already been picked and will always have to be reminded that it is their turn to pick because they are simply not paying attention and are probably talking with some of the other people who are at the live draft and not actually participating.
Amused by the Slot Filler: The person who asked them to be in the league, Other people at the party who are not drafting.
Annoyed by the Slot Filler: Obsessor, and the odds are, they are going to get into a fight at some point with the Aggressor.
Normal
This person is the majority of the people that do fantasy football. This is you, this is me, this is the person that just likes to have fun with the game, gives them a reason to watch more football, which they love and they like that they have a little bit of money on the line. Everyone likes these people, although the Obsessor still cannot understand why they are not more into this. They do their research, come to the draft with properly researched notes and generally have a good time with everyone at the draft. They are usually the ones who bring the best food and know how to make a proper BBQ chicken dip without having to use chicken out of a can. This person will joke around and laugh with everyone and keep things light and fun, they will wear some type of clothing that tells you who their favorite team is, but it usually is just a t-shirt or possibly a throwback jersey. This is the person that will usually win the Championship but will always be in the playoffs. Their slow and steady attitude serves them well when they are making their picks.
Amused by the Normal: Everyone likes this person because they get along with everyone else, even the Aggressor.
Annoyed by the Normal: Obsessor because they think the Normal is an ally but should take this way more seriously.
So where do you see yourself, after reading this did it give you a moment of self-reflection and make you think about what type of person you are? Did you recognize each of the personality traits that is evident with you and some of your friends? Always remember, fantasy football, and for that matter all fantasy
Don’t forget to attend and meet with some of the writers of FANTASY IN FRAMES at the Midwest Fantasy Football Expo on August 15, 2021 in Canton, Ohio!
