NFC East Boring Winners

Welcome to Week 2 of Boring Players Who Win 4-EYED Championships. Why go for the Tesla or Ferrari when you can get a Camry that’ll get you there with cash in your pocket?

We’re looking at each team for one player who you’ll see in your fantasy football draft and think “I mean, I guess I could draft him” and you won’t regret it. The reliable RB. The unwavering WR. The trusty TE. The late-queued QB. You won’t write home to your mother about them, but you’ll appreciate their consistency from the comfort of your playoff spot. (Siri, set reminder to call Mom.)

Here are the NFC East’s Boring Players Who Win Championships!

Dallas Cowboys – Greg “Holy Crap a Kicker?!” Zuerlein

Kickers, by definition, are boring. If you need to draft one, however, Good Ole Greg is your guy. Frankly, this is more the result of all the key Dallas offensive players being drafted fairly high: Zeke in the top 6, Amari in the late 2nd round, Dak in the late 4th and Gallup in the 5th. Hell, back-up RB Tony Pollard is going in the 10th round, likely propped up by Zeke owners looking for their handcuff. (Sorry, CeeDee, but no rookies can be considered “reliable” with zero NFL snaps under their belt.)

I can hear about 17% of you saying “BLAKE JARWIN 4 LIFE!” I mean, look at this picture worthy of any high school yearbook.

Jarwin certainly has the opportunity to fill Jason Witten’s shoes. He also had that chance in 2018. The result: 339 receiving yards in a full season including two playoff games. Pro Football Focus (PFF) graded Jarwin as the 42nd best TE in 2018. Bye bye, Blake.

That leaves us with a kicker. But a historically dependable kicker who has averaged 8 fantasy points per game in his career. Most importantly, Zuerlein will once again be kicking in a dome for 8 home games, including in your week 15 and 16 fantasy football championships.

So, yeah. Draft Greg the Leg, just like I did in our most recent mock draft. Important caveat: if you don’t have to draft a kicker, don’t draft a kicker and stream the position. Alternatively, you could rise up against your commissioner to remove kickers altogether. Love you, @JorgeBEdwards!

New York Giants – Golden Tate “It To the Bank”

He may not be a Detroit Lion anymore, but this was far and away my favorite Google Image search result for the Golden Tate Bridge. Even better looking is his current average draft position (ADP) in the 11th round. That’s a full two rounds after his teammate Sterling Shepard.

Despite the ADP, last year Tate saw a similar number of targets (81 in 11 games) as Shepard (82 in 10 games) and had exactly 100 more receiving yards (676) and 3 more TDs (6) than Shepard. Consistent with his career average of 6.3 yards after catch (YAC) per reception, Tate averaged 5.9 YAC per reception with Danny Dimes in 2019. That’s almost a full 3 additional YAC per reception than what Shepard averaged last year (3.2).

 

 

Last year also was the first year since 2013 that Tate saw fewer than 100 targets and 70 catches. You could look for sophomore break-out seasons from N’Keal Harry or Diontae Johnson and snag one in the 10th/11th rounds. Without a 4-game suspension looming over the 2020 season, however, this Solid Golden 11th round pick provides stability and should yield a great return on your investment.

Philadelphia Eagles – Alshon “Just Stay on the Damn Field” Jeffery

Hear me out. Alshon has only played a full 16 games in 3 of his 8 seasons in the league. That’s bad. PFF has graded Alshon within the top 36 WRs every year except his rookie year, including two top 10 finishes. That’s good! His career yards per reception is 14.3, good enough to be a top 30 WR last year. That’s good too!

What if I told you his ADP is trending so far down that you could snag him in the 10th round or later?

Is it worth taking a chance on someone who, when healthy, is a dependable WR3 with WR1 talent? True, the Eagles drafted Jalen Reagor in the 1st round. As Chad Parsons at Football Guys recently wrote, rookie receivers rarely put up a WR1 season their first year and the top fantasy receiver of a top-8 quarterback is a WR1 more than half of the time. If Alshon and his QB Carson Wentz can stay on the field, there’s a better than 50% chance that Alshon is a WR1. Although his availability is unreliable, Alshon’s productivity keeps him in the boring but draftable category.

Washington Football Team – Terry “He’s Not Boring” McLaurin

This one is more egregious than Greg the Leg or Alshon. How can I say that Terry F-1 McLaurin is a “boring” player?

Well…I can’t. Frankly, there aren’t any boring players on Washington that will have fantasy value. Frankly, there aren’t many players on Washington that will have any fantasy value. Sorry, @JorgeBEdwards and @FantasyTriage. I could have made an argument for Adrian Peterson. The addition of 3rd round pick Antonio Gibson to a “healthy” Derrius Guice, however, gives me pause that AP will any reliable amount of touches.

So, here we are. McLaurin’s ADP is trending upward, currently at the end of the 6th round.

At this spot, McLaurin is a very viable WR3/Flex option. As our friend Ryan Weisse at the Fantasy Footballers recently penned, McLaurin has a high floor and should pay off at his current ADP. However, if his stock starts to creep into the top of the 6th round/back of the 5th round, McLaurin’s price will start looking more like an F-1 than a Ford F-150. At least I had a fantastic pun to go out on!

I hope all you #4EYEDfans enjoyed this week’s installment, and see you next time for the AFC North’s Boring Players Who Win 4-EYED Championships!